We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
