marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
