Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I think I sprained my soul last night
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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