A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
