Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
