the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Randomize
