and you said cock pushups were impossible
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
