I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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