His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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