If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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