Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
