I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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