He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
