I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
