The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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