Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
