yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
