Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Acid is not a monday night drug
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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