I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
