tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
