Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize