i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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