so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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