i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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