I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
