you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
The beer is more important than you right now.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
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She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
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Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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