you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
