This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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