Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
you had me at cake vodka
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
