is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
