The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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