Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
