I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
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