Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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