I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize