I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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