I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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