I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
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Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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