the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
