so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
