can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
just found out that she named her cat after me.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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