How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
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I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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