is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
