I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
