If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
