Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
