I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize