Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
