"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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