Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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