I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being pregnant is like rehab
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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