Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
