Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize