my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I party with great urgency now.
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