i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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