I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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