maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
