Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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