He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
