i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
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Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
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Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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